


The Choice I made

by bumblebee1220



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23837734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bumblebee1220/pseuds/bumblebee1220
Summary: Mulder and Scully deal with the aftermath of Colony/ End Game. How do these two cope and feel about what happened and why.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 8
Kudos: 21
Collections: X-Files Angst Fanfic Exchange (2020)





	The Choice I made

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rachel(red2007)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Rachel%28red2007%29).



> For Rachel(Red2007) You asked for angst following Mulder's choice. Hope I delivered what you wanted.

Scully will be here soon. I asked her to come over. It’s been a few days now since we got back from my ill- advised trip to Dead Horse Alaska that ended with me in the hospital. I’ve only known her a year but it seems like I’ve known her forever.  
This has been a crazy time for me. For us. I never thought a case would turn out like this. Three look- alike men all killed turned our lives upside down in ways I never thought could happen.  
As we worked the case, things got weird. Scully’s shoe was eaten away by some kind of acid. I got hit by a car. You know the usual. I was late with my report to Skinner as usual but that wasn’t the worst part. Skinner told me my father called saying there was a family emergency. As I ran to the office to call him all I could think about is what happened to my mother. He never calls but when I called, she answered at dad’s. When I talked to dad, he just told me he’d rather say in person. I could only think something was seriously wrong but I needed to find out.  
I drive all the way up there to find my father on the porch. He didn’t even hug me just a hand shake. Still wouldn’t tell me what was going on until I saw my mother talking to a woman in the living room. He said it was my sister. How could that be? She had been gone for twenty-two years.   
I wanted to believe that the woman sitting with my mother was really Samantha. I didn’t know who else it could be. I’m not sure about much of what she told me. I couldn’t prove it but that was usually Scully’s job anyway. It had to be her. It couldn’t be anyone else or so I came to learn.   
Sam told me some truly out there things and I believed them. A bounty hunter sent to kill her but why? It made sense but yet it didn’t. I didn’t feel like I thought I would if I found my sister. Maybe it was shock. I don’t know.   
I finally was able to get in touch with Scully. We were playing phone tag. She was at a motel but something happened and we got disconnected. By the time we got there, she was gone. Once again she was gone because of my damn quest. I had my sister and yet Scully was still in trouble. I had to fix this. Sam told me that bounty hunter would make a trade; Scully for her. How the hell was I supposed to let some alien guy take my sister? This was something incredibly hard for me. I loved my sister but I loved Scully too. Yes, I love her.  
How does one choose between his sister and the woman he loves? A sister that went missing over twenty years ago was no back with me but my partner and friend of only a little over a year was missing. Again. I had only gotten her back a few months ago. I couldn’t lose her again. But I did. She was kidnapped again because of me. I needed to get her back safely but I could just hand over my sister. I needed a plan.  
I wasn’t crazy with the plan Skinner and I came up with but I didn’t have much time. That crazy guy was going to kill her. It was the best we had. According to Samantha, we need one shot to the back of the neck to kill him. It was the only way. We had a sniper set up to take the shot. The idea was for him to see Samantha, me see Scully and know she was alright. The sniper would take a shot and get him. I’d have a safe Scully and my sister. Only that wasn’t meant to be. On the drive to the bridge, Samantha told me, I had no choice. I had to let that guy take her in order to save Scully but it was ultimately my choice. I agreed not because I wanted to but I believed it was the right thing to do.  
When we got to the bridge and I saw Scully with that guy, I knew I was making the right choice. It broke me inside to see her there and hurt with a gun pointed at her. I nodded for Samantha to get out of the car. Scully had no idea who she was. If she did, she never would’ve let me do the switch. Samantha took Scully’s place. Now, Scully was safe in the car but my sister had a gun to her head. If our snipper was off by even a hair, my sister was dead and I would be responsible. I was responsible. Our guy took the shot and hit the target but he ended up going over the bridge with my sister. I killed her. Again.  
Hours later, Scully came back to the bridge to find me still standing there. I was hoping beyond hope they’d find her. I knew they wouldn’t but I had to hope. I left her there to deal with Skinner and my father. The rest gets kind of fuzzy once I got to Dead Horse. I sit here now waiting for Scully to come over. I know she doesn’t want to but I need her to understand what happened and why. I don’t know if she will but I have to try. A knock at the door. It must be Scully. I hope she understands and I’m not a total fool.  
“Hey, Scully. Come on in. Have a seat.”  
“How are you feeling?”  
“Better. Thanks. You saved my life. I don’t know if I told you that. I’d be six feet under if the doctor didn’t listen to you.”  
“I’m just glad that I got there in time. You didn’t leave me any clues as to where you went. Just the why?”  
“I had to do this on my own, Scully. It’s like you said. There has to be an end, a line.”  
“Mulder, we’re a team. I know what I said but you are my partner. We help each other. What I don’t understand is, why didn’t you tell me that woman was your sister?”  
“She wasn’t my sister. I don’t know what she was.”  
“You thought she was. Why would you risk losing her again? You’ve spent over twenty years looking for her. You had her back and yet you traded her for me.”  
“I had to Scully. If you knew, you’d never had let me make the trade.”  
“Damn right, Mulder. Samantha is your sister.”  
“And you’re my partner, my friend. I couldn’t risk it.”  
“Mulder, you have waited years to get her back. I am your partner and your friend but family comes first. You should never had made that trade.”  
“You are family to me. Look, she wasn’t my sister. I saw others that looked just like her. I thought at the time she was. I really wanted that woman to be her but the things she told me were out there and yet I believed her. I guess part of me knew deep down that it was too good to be true.”  
“Mulder, listen to me. You had no idea that woman was not Samantha. Did she give you reason to doubt her? Is that why you made the switch?”  
“No. She even joked about playing the game we were playing that night. How did she know that stuff if she wasn’t Samantha? It doesn’t make sense to me but yet I knew it was the right thing to do. She encouraged it but it went to hell.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I was supposed to save you both. The plan was for you and Samantha to switch places. Give him what he wanted. Once, you were safely in the car or out of harm’s way, I had to get him into the right position for the snipper to take his shot. He had to hit him in the base of the neck where the skull and spine meet. It was the only way to kill him. Samantha knew what to do but he had such a hold on her. When the shot was fired, I was hoping she’d get away but you saw what happened.”  
“I’m sorry Mulder. I really am. When I got back to the bridge and saw you standing there looking over at the water, I didn’t know what to do. You were in pain.”  
“It’s ok. I’m kind of used to that pain. Have had it since I was twelve.”  
“It’s not ok. It was never ok. Mulder, you lost your sister. Twice.”  
“She wasn’t my sister. I know at the time, I thought she was but she wasn’t. When I heard about the body, I knew it was all a lie and had been all along. I don’t doubt that my parents thought that was her.”  
“You let her be put in harms way, to see me. Why? Why risk losing her again?”  
“I… I think…. I knew I couldn’t do this alone. I couldn’t find the truth without you by myside.”  
“I wish you wouldn’t say things like that?”  
“Why? It’s the truth. I knew if something went wrong up on that bridge but I had you, I could go on and find her. Get her back. You could help me find those answers but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t be you. Truth is, after your abduction and almost loosing you, I couldn’t risk loosing you again.”  
“You gave up the chance to save her for me because you needed me? if you had her, you wouldn’t need me to help you find the truth, to find her.”  
“There is more then one kind of truth here. I need to find out what they did to you and how to stop it. I couldn’t lose both of you to them.”  
“I understand but did you ever stop and think how I might feel about this?”  
“No, I…. I didn’t think much about this really. I just wanted you safe. Are you ok?”  
“Physically, I’m fine. Otherwise, no. I found out at the hospital who that woman was. I asked the agent that was with me. He said Skinner informed him that there were two women; myself and one Samantha Mulder. Imagine how I felt at that moment, knowing that you chose me over your own sister; that you watched as she went over that bridge with that man. Do you have any idea how I felt at that moment?”  
“No.”  
“It was heartbreaking. I was shocked. My heart broke for you but I was also angry. I was angry at myself and this situation. I let my guard down and he got me putting you in a position that made you choose between us. You never should have had to make a choice. Lastly, I felt guilty at knowing she was likely dead and I was alive. When they were finished with me at the hospital, I had a few moments alone to really think and pull myself together. I needed to be there to solve the case not for me but for you and your sister.”  
“I’m sorry, Scully. I really am. I never took into account that anything could go wrong. I messed up and look where it led me? To you saving my ass. Are we going to be alright?”  
“I know you are. I think so. It’s going to take time but I don’t want you to hide these things from me. Let me in. Let me help you. I promise that I will do whatever I can to help you find your sister.”  
“Thank you, Scully. I’m not used to having someone on my side despite us working together for over a year already. I know that with you by myside, I can find her. We can find her.”  
We talked a bit more before Scully left. I sit alone now in my trusty leather sofa and know beyond a doubt that I made the right choice. I will find my sister and Scully will be right there with me when I do.


End file.
